Hollywood’s box office is in a bit of a pickle, isn’t it? Our dear film industry, after being battered for five years, thought 2025 would be its knight in shining armor. But alas, the rescue is off to a sluggish start. Original flicks like “Novocaine,” “Black Bag,” and “Mickey 17” are struggling to lasso in the crowds, while sequels from beloved franchises like “Captain America: Brave New World” and “Paddington in Peru” are, quite frankly, flopping like a fish out of water.
Picture this: Our celebrity filled lineup for spring and summer includes “A Minecraft Movie,” “Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning,” “Jurassic World Rebirth,” and “Lilo & Stitch.” One can only hope they’ll be the blockbuster darlings we’re desperately waiting for. Until then, the box office numbers are making us as anxious as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
So, this past weekend, Paramount’s “Novocaine” tried to make a splash. Unfortunately, it was more of a gentle ripple. Jack Quaid, our pain-free hero, managed to score a mere $1.8 million from 19 international markets. But hey, it’s only a quarter of its global mission, so there’s hope, right? It did claim the top spot in North America, raking in $8.7 million, tallying up to $10.5 million worldwide. At least it didn’t break the bank with its $18 million production cost. Small mercies!
Meanwhile, Steven Soderbergh’s “Black Bag” tried to sneak in with a spy thriller vibe, but alas, it fizzled out with $4.2 million from 37 international markets. The domestic start was a tad better at $7.5 million, bringing its worldwide stash to $11.7 million. With a $50 million budget riding on its back, this tale of espionage and marital woes is having a rough time cracking the code to success.
And then there’s “Mickey 17,” the weekend’s top performer. It raked in $15.6 million from 70 foreign territories. Over two weeks, our dystopian sci-fi comedy has charmed its way to $57.2 million overseas and $90.5 million globally. Korea seems smitten, contributing $17.9 million, while the UK chipped in $5.8 million. Director Bong Joon Ho and star Robert Pattinson crafted an original gem, but with a staggering $118 million budget, turning a profit is a pipe dream.
Now, let’s chat about our familiar faces—those franchises! Even brand loyalty can’t save “Captain America: Brave New World.” This superhero escapade is on track to be one of Marvel’s lowest-grossing ventures. With an additional $6 million from 52 international markets, it sits at $203 million overseas and $388.6 million globally. Compared to 2023’s “The Marvels” ($207 million) and 2011’s “The Incredible Hulk” ($264 million), it’s a minor victory. But let’s face it, it’s still in the realm of underwhelming alongside 2021’s “Eternals” and 2023’s “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania.”
Our lovable bear, Paddington, is also feeling the pinch. “Paddington in Peru” only managed a measly $2.3 million internationally over the weekend. With $142.6 million overseas and $183.7 million worldwide, it’s nowhere near its predecessors’ success. The first two films were as sweet as marmalade, raking in $326 million and $290 million globally, respectively. Time for a marmalade intervention, perhaps?
But hey, not everything’s bleak! China’s “Ne Zha 2” is riding high, grossing $2.08 billion since the Lunar New Year. It’s now the fifth-highest-grossing release in box office history, surpassing “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.” Impressive, right? 🎉
Moral of the Story: Sometimes, even superheroes need a little help from their blockbuster buddies to save the day! Keep your cape handy, Hollywood.
