Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan Film Review: Salman Khan’s Eidi is a Masala Misfire That’s as Stale as Last Year’s Biryani!

🌟🌟💫 (2/5 stars)

Introduction:
Brace yourselves, Bhai fans, because Salman Khan is back with “Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan,” a masala entertainer that’s as bland as unsalted popcorn and as predictable as a Salman Khan film! 🍿😪 Directed by Farhad Samji, this Eidi from Bhaijaan is like a reheated biryani that’s lost its flavor and its zing. 🍚😔

Plot:
The story of “Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan” is as old as the jokes in Salman’s “Bigg Boss” episodes. 📺😴 Bhaijaan plays Bhaijaan, a tough guy with a heart of gold who must protect his family from a group of goons led by the boxing champion Vijender Singh (playing himself, because why not? 🤷‍♂️). The plot is as thin as Salman’s hairline and as convoluted as the film’s title, with more twists than a plate of twisted noodles. 🍝🤯

Performances:
Salman Khan is, well, Salman Khan. He’s the same Bhai we’ve seen in countless films, with the same smirk, the same slow-motion walks, and the same shirtless scenes that make his fans go wild. 😎💪 Pooja Hegde is the token love interest, and her chemistry with Salman is as sizzling as a wet firecracker. 💦🎇 The rest of the cast, including Venkatesh, Jagapathi Babu, and Raghav Juyal, are as forgettable as Salman’s previous Eidi, “Radhe.” 😕🎁

Action and Comedy:
The action sequences in “Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan” are as over-the-top as Salman’s biceps, with Bhai single-handedly taking down hordes of goons while barely breaking a sweat. 💪😅 The comedy, however, is as stale as last year’s Eid sweets, with jokes that fall flatter than a deflated balloon. 🎈😔 Even the usually reliable Farhad Samji fails to inject any life into the proceedings, making the film feel like a three-hour slog through a desert of mediocrity. 🏜️😴

Music and Dance:
The music of “Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan” is as forgettable as Salman’s previous Eid releases, with songs like “Yentamma” and “Billi Billi” that will make you want to hit the skip button faster than Salman’s famous bracelet-clad wrist. 💿👎 The dance numbers are as uninspired as the film’s plot, with Salman’s signature moves looking as tired as the audience by the end of the film. 💃😴

Conclusion:
“Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan” is proof that even Salman Khan’s star power can’t save a film that’s as stale as last year’s biryani. 🍚😴 It’s a masala misfire that’s best avoided, unless you’re a die-hard Bhai fan who’s willing to sit through anything for a glimpse of his famous abs. 💪😍 Review Rani gives it a disappointing 2 stars out of 5. 🌟🌟💫

So, if you’re looking for a mindless masala entertainer this Eid, you’re better off rewatching one of Salman’s old hits like “Wanted” or “Dabangg.” 📼👮‍♂️ As for “Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan,” it’s an Eidi that’s best returned for a refund. 💸😅